Some Scott Pilgrim vs. The World quotes :D

Todd Ingram: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
Scott Pilgrim: What?
Todd Ingram: Because you’ll be dust by Monday… because you’ll be pulverized in two seconds. The cleaning lady? She cleans up… dust. She dusts.
Scott Pilgrim: So, what’s on Monday?
Todd Ingram: ‘Cause… it’s Friday now, she’s the weekends off, so… Monday, right?”

Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: …Lesbians?

Stacey Pilgrim: You should break up with your fake highschool girlfriend!
Scott Pilgrim: Wait who told you?
Stacey Pilgrim: Wallace.
Scott Pilgrim: He’s not even conscious!

Wallace Wells: Guess who’s drunk!
Scott Pilgrim: I guess Wallace.
Wallace Wells: You guess right!

Hipster Bouncer: What’s the password?
Scott Pilgrim: Uh… whatever…
Hipster Bouncer: Cool…

Scott Pilgrim: Wait! We’re fighting over Ramona?
Matthew Patel: Didn’t you get my email explaining the situation?
Scott Pilgrim: I skimmed it.
Wallace Wells: [shaking head] Mm-mm.
Matthew Patel: You will pay for your insolence!

Scott Pilgrim: We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.

Crash: This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony and it’s called “We Hate You, Please Die.”
Wallace Wells: Sweet!
[to Jimmy]
Wallace Wells: I love this song.

Gideon Gordon Graves: Yeah. Still my girl.
Ramona V. Flowers: Let’s both be girls.

Knives Chau: I’ve never even kissed a guy before.
Scott Pilgrim: Hey… me neither.

Kim Pine: We are Sex Bob-Omb! And we’re here to watch Scott Pilgrim kick your teeth in! One-two-three-four!

Scott Pilgrim: What’s the website for Amazon.ca?
Wallace Wells: Amazon.ca

Scott Pilgrim: Hey so, can this not be a one-night stand? For one thing I didn’t even get any. That was a joke.
Ramona V. Flowers: What did you have in mind?
Scott Pilgrim: Oh, come to this first round of this battle of the bands thing.
Ramona V. Flowers: You have a band?
Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, we’re terrible. Please come.
Ramona V. Flowers: [sighs] Sure.
[leaves]
Scott Pilgrim: Oh wait, can I get your number?
Ramona V. Flowers: Here.
Scott Pilgrim: Wow… girl number…
Ramona V. Flowers: See you at the show Scott Pilgrim.
Scott Pilgrim: Oh hey it’s tonight! At the…

Kim Pine: Scott Pilgrim, you’re the salt of the earth.
Scott Pilgrim: Thanks, Kim.
Kim Pine: I meant “scum” of the earth.

Wallace Wells: Look, I didn’t write the gay handbook. If you got a problem with it, take it up with Liberace’s ghost.

Computer: You’ve got mail.
Scott Pilgrim: [Turns To Wallace] Dude, this thing claims I have mail.
Wallace Wells: It’s amazing what we can do with computers these days.
Scott Pilgrim: [Turns back] Dude, now I’m totally reading it.

Wallace Wells: Hey, what’s up with his outfit?
Guy in Crowd: Yeah, is he a pirate?
Scott Pilgrim: Are you a pirate?
Matthew Patel: Pirates are in this year!

Scott Pilgrim: I’m in lesbians with you

Ramona V. Flowers: What kind of tea do you want?
Scott Pilgrim: There’s more than one kind?
Ramona V. Flowers: We have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepy time, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffel, blueberry chamomile, vanilla walnut, constant comment and… earl grey.
Scott Pilgrim: Did you make some of those up?

Kim Pine: Believe it or not I used to date Scott in high school.
Ramona V. Flowers: Oh? Do you have any embarrassing stories?
Kim Pine: [laughs sarcastically] Yeah… he’s an idiot!

Scott Pilgrim: Hey You totally came!
Ramona V. Flowers: Yes I did totally come…

Scott Pilgrim: When I’m around you, I kind of feel like I’m on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.

Knives Chau: Hey Scott!
Scott Pilgrim: What the hell…
Ramona V. Flowers: Who is that girl again?
Stephen Stills: Scott dated her.
Scott Pilgrim: Briefly.
Ramona V. Flowers: How old is she?
Scott Pilgrim: Uhhhhhhhh…
[the camera goes into his head. We see a wheel listing various thoughts. The arrow gets stuck between “I gotta pee” and “Who, her?”]
Scott Pilgrim: I gotta pee on her!… I mean, I gotta pee. Pee time.

Stephen Stills: Oh god!… oh man! This is a nightmare! Is this a nightmare? Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up…!
Scott Pilgrim: It’s just nerves!
Kim Pine: Once we’re on stage, you’ll be fine.
Stephen Stills: We were just on stage for sound check, and the sound guy hated us!

Stephen Stills: Level with me… did we suck?
Ramona V. Flowers: I don’t know… did you?
[walks away]
Stephen Stills: …she has to go. She knows we suck.

Ramona V. Flowers: Well, it was nice to meet you and tell your gay friends I will see them later.
Stacey Pilgrim: Gay friends?
[Wallace and Jimmy are making out]
Stacey Pilgrim: Wallace? Again?

Stacey Pilgrim: 17-year-old? Scandal.
Scott Pilgrim: Who told you.
Stacey Pilgrim: Wallace, duh.
Scott Pilgrim: That gossipy bitch.
Wallace Wells: [on the phone listening] You know me.

Knives Chau: What do you play?
Young Neil: Wow, ummm… Zelda… Tetris… that’s kind of a big question.

Other Scott: And you didn’t bang her? Are you gay?
Scott Pilgrim: I couldn’t stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend.
Jimmy: Is that the Uma Thurman movie?

and:

MY FAVOURITE IS:
Ramona V. Flowers: This is good garlic bread.
Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, I think garlic bread would have to be my favourite all-time food. I could eat it for every meal. Or just constantly, without stopping.
Ramona V. Flowers: Then you’d get fat.
Scott Pilgrim: No, why would I get fat?
Ramona V. Flowers: Because bread makes you fat.
Scott Pilgrim: Bread makes you fat?

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